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Saturday, December 21, 2013

So Proud

Yesterday was a very exhausting and rough day, but the highlight was at 2:00 and my children's school.

It was the day for their annual Christmas program. The two oldest were performing I their class and have done everything to remind me that I needed to be at the school early so I could get a seat (early is something I don't do, late is more my style lol). But as I arrived the excitement on their face showed. Through the crowd they spotted me and we made our hands into hearts across the gymnasium floor. 

Jack is in kindergarten and this is the first time he's ever done anything in front of a crowd. He was great :) doing all of the hand motions from Santa Clause is Coming to Town. Landyn was in the back row, apparently he is taller than some, but not really. If it wasn't for a little girl breaking formation I wouldn't have been able to see him, but alas his face poked between the front line and almost the whole time I have him in video singing Jingle Bells.

I love them so much and am so proud of all of their accomplishments. It's been rewarding working during the day and tucking them in every night... My greatest accomplishment is the smile on my children's faces :)

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Never Say Never

I hate it when someone says: You can't do it -OR- Why would you do that?

I won't say that I accomplish everything I set out to do, but dammit if I won't complete something someone says I can't do. I finally finished school and now the question is what to do with that degree, or more or less what will I do with the time I spent at school, how will I fill it? So I found something... *Football*

I had my first practice with Thee Toledo Reign, a Woman's Professional Football Team with the WFA and boy did it kick my butt, but I am so excited to be playing. As I am not sure of my position yet, I worked on Running Back last night and have instantly fallen in love with it. Now woman's football? Yeah, Woman's football, and not that lingerie crap, this is full contact, full pads real football. SO why though right?

Why NOT? I love the game, I watch the game, I am a huge fan of football, always have been, always got selected for the backyard QB growing up. And how does this teach my kids ANYTHING? I am a WOMAN, 28 years old, with three kids... where in any book is this what I am 'supposed' to be doing. It's not, I go against the grain, and I want my children to do the same. I want my kids to choose paths for themselves based on what they love, not based on what society teaches us is cool or right. I want to play football, therefore I AM playing football. One of our coach's said something that really hit home last night, this is a MOVEMENT. I am apart of a movement, something women are not supposed to do, but I as well as the rest of these girls on this team ARE DOING IT, and have been stretching back to the 1970's. 

One day my children will look at me and I hope to be an inspiration to them. I hope I can show my kids to never give up on your dreams big or small. Your mother graduated from college at 28 and plays professional woman's football. You CAN and WILL do anything you set your heart on! Be the jock, be the best drummer in the band, be the coolest juggler, the artistic painter, be a singer, a soccer player, an astronaut. Be the BEST version of you and follow those dreams you have now. Never, NeveR, NeVeR, NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER ever let someone say you can't do it, or question you. Be with the people who say "You Can," because these are the people who are honest.




Monday, December 16, 2013

Revealing...

When I first created what I thought would be a place for help, I visioned so many things. I visioned doing a lot of charity work, I visioned creating scholarships, a place where we could help other single mothers with bills. I had such a vision. But my hectic life as a single parent became too much for a full evolvement. As I look back on the past two years here at SMA, it hit me just two weeks ago that although my presence may not have been 100%, my heart was; I'm not sure that could be said about everything else here.

I allowed people I thought were close to me in to help, and it seems that so much work done under the SMA name has been taken away for some sort of selfish reason. So the decision has been made to go in a different direction from this point on. I will no longer hide behind a fake name, however anyone else here can. I am proud of myself and my story and no amount of pink sparkles or Scriptina font can change it:

I am Katharine Lauren Bethel. I am a 28 year old mother of three great kids. I have worked through adversity and currently hold a bachelors degree as of last Friday. I had an ex-husband who is the father to all three of my children, (I get asked that a lot) and the situation we are involved in is so horrible, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I have dreams and aspirations. I want to help those mothers who want to succeed. I will conquer any wall built in front of me and I will share with you my journey. Feel free to get to know me, ask questions if you'd like. But what you'll get from me from know on is reality. I am honest and blunt to the core and sometimes I have a potty mouth, and that's okay, because even with that I have drive and my children are my life. So stay connected with this blog, let me help you by sharing my story and my resources.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Empowerment

Sometimes, Moms need to involve themselves with activities that make them feel good. I've taken a lot of time the past couple months to try to refocus my life. I strongly feel that I cannot be a strong woman or mother until I can be proud of something I am doing.

So for me, I have focused on three things the past three months that have helped me be a better parent.

Number One: School
Through two pregnancies, I pushed and pushed and pushed, and received my Associates Degree from a local school here while being a military wife in two separate states. Now I am about 4 weeks away from my Bachelors. Not that my degree is in anything that anyone else cares about it still is a personal goal I have achieved while being in the hardest of circumstances.

Number Two: Work
I work, and most often it's too often, and with school, the time away from the kids is adding up. But I do it because this Christmas I get to give the boys a great one. It won't be donated toys, but stuff they want. Stuff that they circle in the Walmart Catalog, and here's the next greatest thing: I am doing it by myself. There is no friends, boyfriends, parents that are helping me... It's just me. And although I work a lot I know that these kids know I love them.

Number Three: Being Single
Yeah, being single... I tried the whole ex-husband thing, and unfortunately it didn't work out, but you know what is great? Being single... Not NEEDING to have a man by my side. I didn't really have my heart into the ex, mainly because I was terrified that things wouldn't work out, as they didn't. But I guess I'm kinda over being one of those girls who sits and bitches over a guy. I don't want to be the girl who is crying to her friends because her boyfriend cheated on her AGAIN and then all over Facebook screaming how wonderful he is. Is more annoying when your friends know the truth and yet you continue to live your life like he isn't ripping out your heart. SOrry, the stress of that alone is to much. Being single is great, I can spread all my love to the three greatest men ever born.

Now every Wednesday, we watch a movie together and cuddle, their dad is around and loves to take them to school and make their lunches. Even though we aren't together, we are working as a unit and it's great. I've taken a break from SMA, from doing nothing but bitching all the time about petty stuff in my life and it's such a nice way to live. My post will be taking a turn and hopefully you will see more of them as school winds down.

The best thing I can say at this point to Mom's is to take a minute and focus on you. Don't leave the kids, but re-work it. Find a way to take what you do everyday and be proud of it for you. Your kids will remember the things you've worked hard for, especially while doing it, you were giving them kisses.


Friday, September 6, 2013

Carnage

We are pet lovers in my house. With two dogs and a turtle and a heart for so much more, it's no wonder while cleaning out the turtle tank outside, my ADD kicked when I found a hurt baby bunny and quickly scrapped the aquarium cleaning to snuggle to bunny.

Wilson, our turtle, a red-eared slider. Purchased in Texas and traveled all the way here with us. He is an asshole. Will take every opportunity to try and bite you, knocks rocks off of his enclosure and delights in screwing with the filter so it makes loud obnoxious noises in the middle of the night. But he is my oldest son's turtle and he loves him... I secretly do too.

Wilson was in a container on the floor while we were outside snuggling the bunny. We decided to make a quick run to the pet store for bunny supplies as well as some last minute cleaning stuff for Wilson, it was a big day for the boys, Wilson's tank was moving into their room. Larry had won a fish to put in the tank with him, and while at the store Curly and Moe picked out a 'Turbo' snail. 

Prior to leaving I asked if we should put Wilson up off the floor because of one of the dogs, Citka, the 4 year old, calm, mild mannered husky who loves everyone and literally never makes a sound. We figured all would be well and left on our merry way.

When we walked in the door I knew something was wrong. The dog had pooped and the smell was atrocious. I went to go examine the damage to my carpet when I noticed a flaky like substance next to the poop. Upon further footsteps I saw it...

Blood...

And the turtle...

I couldn't get to the door fast enough, and Larry stepped by me... His heart sank and mine followed. He literally began to scream in that "I know what you did last summer" freak out scream. I could do nothing but hold his eyes away.

It was literally the most gruesome thing I have every seen. Wilson was alive, barely, still trying to move, with two double quarter size sections of his shell missing; and my son saw it. I cried with him. This poor helpless animal and here he is probably in intense pain and I feel like its solely my fault. Had I just put him on the counter while we left, it likely wouldn't have happened. I left him there to be massacred.

Larry was screaming at Citka, I can't believe this dog did this. He wasn't playing with the turtle, he was legitimately trying to eat or kill it. He succeeded. Now the tank is cleaned, set up and running in their room. The fish are being prepped to go in, now all we need is Wilson...

...Instead, he still taking his last breathes in a half wallpaper box, ready to be buried. He's still alive, some how, but won't make it. And I can't just put him out of his misery, I wouldn't know how. I can only hope that he'll close his turtle eyes and fall asleep. Larry wants to bury him and say our prayers...

I hope Jesus has a special pond for turtles.

RIP Wilson Carter
Red Eared Slider
2011-2013

Thursday, August 1, 2013

5 Things I NEVER Imagined...

... Would come out of my mouth... Ever...

1.) DO NOT PUT THAT WORM IN YOUR MOUTH!!! 

2.) WHO PAINTED THE TOILET BOWL??? 

3.) REALLY? ON WHAT PLANET IS FEEDING THE TURTLE CHEEZITS APPROPRIATE? 

4.) THATS POOP!! WHY WOULD YOU TOUCH IT?? 

5.) Do-do-do-do-do-do DORA!!!



Saturday, July 27, 2013

Ch-ch-cha-changes!

Craziness!!! Yeah, that's my life... Currently there are some additions to my house: an adult male, a male dog, and my missing furniture from my divorce... 

Any guesses as to what's going on? Yup, the ex moved in. Now in my defense a lot has been going on and well, you know I have struggled with our relationship, parental relationship and tons of things have happened since the last blog... So here goes.

1.) Mom's Mental Breakdown - Mom lost her patience. Mom had an overflowed toilet, car window marker on her carpet, and a very angry child kicking her front door into her mouth. After 6 straight weeks of this with my kids I caved to ask for help. Craftman's sister has always been a great help for me emotionally, and well, with the boys is no exception. I packed their bags and drove them to her house, she insisted they would be molded into shape lol... It worked...

2.) Mom's Refocus of Anger - I did some soul searching to realize I'm not angry at Craftsman, well I am, but only because I felt that he never stood up for the kids against the Cuntess. I have realized that he did stand up but with her holding all the power; aka money, he couldn't do much. So instead of being angry at him I became angry at her. Which became easier an easier with every nutso action and decision shed come up with next... Example: blocking me from calling my children and attempting to claim that Moe isn't Craftsman's child.

3.) Mom's Got a Compassionate Side - I will always believe in Craftsman. I was with him for 8 years, obviously something attracted me to him. He once was so passionate, had goals and drive and thought he was awesome... Now he says "I know I'll never do anything great..." Wow, way to go Cuntess, you succeeded in taking away every ounce of confidence from one single person in your pursuit of obsession and entrapment of a man you didn't trust anyway.

4.) Mom's Offer - As much as where he was consequenced (<--- not a word) by his decisions to develop a relationship with her, there was no way he was going to be able to succeed job and personally under the thumb of someone who let there own insecurities drive their decisions. So when he opened up to me, I made the offer... I have an extra room. And well, that's where we are. On opposite sides of the house. He has already applied for jobs, been accepted into a school program he really wants to be in and he says he feels like he can finally breathe.

I feel like I have given him an opportunity to be a man again. He now can go be successful and finally feel like a good example to his children, all five. Even her son...


 
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